guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
