Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
