Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
