i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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