i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he was CRYING into my vagina
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
