next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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