That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
