He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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