we made out on top of his cat.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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