So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
