you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
