So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
