why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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