I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
