I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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