I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
