I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Found the puke drawer
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
soo... how was my night?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
