I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
