How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize