i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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