we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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