your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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