haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize