This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
