Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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