just come out here and I will go home with you...
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
