Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
