I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Are we still banned from the library?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
