Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I need a burrito and a hug.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
