she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
