so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i think i just lost a toe
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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