I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
