I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
how does that bad decision feel?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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