Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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