she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
