I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
