At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize