Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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