she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
