from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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