yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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