can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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