Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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