He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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