Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
