also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
