Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
