If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just forgot I was standing up.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
