dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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