She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
