this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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