Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Is Oprah even human
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
