so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
