I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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