dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I said "one day" and that day is not today
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
