STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
