He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
