It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
