omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
that's an acceptable place to lick
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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