Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
